Jedi Marri

Just ME, as I Am.

So many things left unsaid… May 31, 2008

Filed under: Life As It Is — jedimarri @ 4:23 pm
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I have so many things on my mind right now. Thoughts, ramblings, sparkly things, a complete and utter random jumble. I have things I want to write about, things I just want to keep to myself, things I want to talk to certain people about, and things that I can’t even identify, all bouncing against the walls of my brain.

I’m having troubles expressing myself though.

This is my first blog post on a new blog site, and there’s a part of me that wants it to be something significant, something that any random wanderers will stop at and say, “Wow, she’s cool! I want to keep reading.” Yet, deep down inside, I know that desire is not only selfish, it’s rather pointless. Yes, there is a degree where I’ve always blogged so my friends know what’s going on in my life, but I also blog simply because I find writing therapeutic. There’s not much point in trying to impress, if someone wants to read this they will, and if they don’t, they won’t. It’s no skin off of my nose.

I also thought about using this first blog to say “hey, this is ME!” But then, of course, my other two pages on this blog kinda already do that. So, for those of you who are new and don’t know me, go read those pages if you want to know who I am. For those of you, friends and family alike, who’ve followed me over from my previous blog, welcome into this new place to share my world.

The reason I’m having troubles expressing myself today is that I’m rather drugged up on steroids for my asthma. I’ve been doing a lot worse again this last week so Doc. V. spiked my meds up again. Between the meds and the asthma I was pretty non-functional all day yesterday. I’m breathing pretty good so far today, but I feel pretty weak, so I’m going to try and take it pretty easy today if I can. I also feel kinda fuzzy headed. Again, from the drugs. I just keep praying that the new treatment we’ve been doing will start working soon. I want to be strong again! Oh well, life is what it is.

As La was reminding me the other day, there have been good things that have come out of all these healthy problems in the last few months. I’ve done a lot more with my jewelry and actually started a business, and as much as I hated having to stop working a normal job, I probably wouldn’t have found the time to pursue this dream if I hadn’t. Mo and I have grown much closer through all of this too. He’s so sweet and takes such good care of me!

I love La, she’s such an encouragement. My Pudding Soul Sister (PSS) forever. What does that mean? Ah well, that’s a blog for another time.

Dios le bendiga.