Jedi Marri

Just ME, as I Am.

So tired… November 14, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is,writing — jedimarri @ 10:36 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Sometimes I wonder why there aren’t more hours in the day – or at least why I don’t have more energy to fill the hours I am awake with…

But that’s ok 🙂 It means I never seem to run out of projects I want to work on! I have a nice long post brewing in my head but I haven’t had the time and energy at the same time to bring it to life yet.  Tomorrow hopefully 🙂

Today was a long day for two reasons.  One, I wasn’t breathing well at all yesterday so I’m run down from that, and then Gordon and I both had appointments at the natureopath in Beaverton, so that made for a long trip.  It was fun spending time with Gordon though 🙂  Plus I’ve started working with hemp recently and it makes for an easy project to work on in the car! Makes the drive seem shorter…

Spent some time with over at the parents house after our appointments.  Mo was at work.  Mom and I got to “cackle” as Dad likes to put it and work on crafty stuff.  My first scarf is 100% done finally! It’s been nearly done for a few weeks now >_>  Anyway, that was my first knitting project and tonight Mom started teaching me how to crochet.  I was really tired though so my hands were starting to shake and so I couldn’t work on it for very long.  Ah well.  I’ll be back over there tomorrow while Mo’s at work so I’ll work on it a bit some more 🙂 After I write! Because tonight I’m too brain dead to do justice to my nice long post that I have wandering around my brain…

Advertisements
 

Introspection November 2, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is,writing — jedimarri @ 10:04 am

Yesterday was really frustrating. I was hoping to see old friends, and their new baby, and it didn’t happen. I had a fairly bad asthma attack that ruined my plans and meant that I felt pretty miserable for the rest of the day.  It was realy hard not to get super-mad at my body! Fortunately I was able to chat on-line with a friend last night and that cheered me up considerably.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I found myself thinking.  I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Thinking that is. Especially while I’m falling asleep. Or, I should say, TRYING to fall asleep. Lately I fall asleep with thoughts of etsy promotions, jewelry design, random story lines, and who knows what else swirling through my head! Fortunately I’m usually able to remember the important pieces the next day…

Anyway, I realized I’m in a weird place right now. I’ve been struggling a lot with depression because my well-laid plans keep getting messed up by my silly body.  Yet, at the same time, there’s a large part of me that just wants to stay home anyway.  I don’t know if that’s a reflection of how tired I am, or the many different projects I have going, but there’s a part of me that wants to just be shut away hermit like.

It’s not that I don’t want to see people – my frustration at canceled plans is genuine! It’s more there’s a split inside of me right now.  There’s the side that misses my independance and my health and struggles to retain some level of normalcy. Then there’s the side that is ever coming up with more ideas to write about and jewelry creations to make that wants to just stay here and work slavishly on them.

I’m not crazy…I think…

 

Thunder and Rain August 8, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is — jedimarri @ 9:21 pm
Tags: , ,

I know – I’m on the EAST side and I’m actually getting rain!  How weird is that?  I heard some thunder earlier too.  I didn’t know what it was at first because I so wasn’t expecting to hear it 😛

I haven’t been feeling that great today so instead of cleaning or doing laundry I took the fun road and did a bunch of bead weaving, planning, and playing on etsy 😛

I did get a few other things done though.  Talked on the phone with Bethie, Mel, and Mommy.  Talked on-line with several others including my PSS.  Made dinner for me and Mo (shrimp pasta = yum!).  Watched 5 episodes of x-files (no I’m not addicted, why do you ask?).

It’s been a pretty relaxing day over all.  I’m hoping I feel better tomorrow because I really should get some cleaning and laundry done…

I just realized that ever paragraph in this post starts with the letter “I” – and all but one of those has been the word “I.”  How self-centered can I get?  Oh yes, this is my blog, I’m allowed to be that way right?

 

My Super-Hero Power August 6, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is — jedimarri @ 7:28 am
Tags: , , ,

Those of you who know me best know that my super-hero power is the ability to find new and entertaining ways to hurt myself.  Well…entertaining for everyone else.  Last week I added to that list.  Ok, so the event itself wasn’t that entertaining, but the timing was!

So what happened?  I was walking up some stairs, tripped, and came down really hard on my right wrist.  The docs thought it might be broken so I’ve been wearing a cast-like splint ever since!  I’m waiting to hear back today from the second set of x-rays.  My doc didn’t see anything but we need the official radiologist report before I can graduate down to a normal brace.  I’m really looking forward to that call!  I’m sick of this thing.  Especially because my thumb is incased…  I want my thumb back!

I’m sure you want to hear about the irony.  Well – this all happened four days before our first craft show here in Ellensburg.  It  was supposed to be my week of creating jewelry like mad – my time to focus on the business since school was out – and that all was for naught.  Instead I spent the week watching movies and reading books.  Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy both of those past-times, but it was hard when I had so much else I wanted to do!

The good news is my PSS joined me for the weekend.  Because of her I was still able to do the craft show.  She was my pack-llama!  We had lots of fun girly time over the weekend and my dear husband was marvelous in how well he put up with us!

Over the last two days my wrist is finally starting to feel like its healing.  I can type without pain – and I’m thinking I might be able to get some cleaning and organizing done today.  And maybe – if I’m very lucky – I’ll get to make some simple jewelry 🙂

Oh yes!  Another reason my PSS is simply awesome – she bought me Breaking Dawn!  The newest book in the Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer.

It was fantastic.  I won’t say more than that because I don’t want to give away anything I shouldn’t for those of you still waiting to read it – but I will say I loved it!  I had so many questions on how she was going to resolve different matters in this book, and I think she answered all of my questions satisfactorily.  At least…I don’t remember any questions being left over 😛  That is always a good thing!  I look forward to seeing what else she comes up with in the future 🙂

In fact – if the book hadn’t come in the mail yesterday I proably would have posted yesterday – but I was too engrossed in the 756 pages of fun to do anything else!

 

Busy, Busy July 5, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is — jedimarri @ 12:32 pm
Tags: , ,

Life is so busy right now!  School, business stuff, and life in general.  I love it though 🙂

I saw my lung doc again on Thursday and it was a really positive meeting!  I’m really glad about that, because the last one was such a downer.  This time he was really happy with my progress though 🙂

I’m having such a hard time focusing on school right now!  I’m getting geared up to do a big craft fair in August, and it looks like I’ll be doing the occasional farmers market too starting (yikes!) tomorrow!  So hard to concentrate on school when I want to concentrate on that…

On the other hand, at least being busy means I can’t get lazy and put off doing things 🙂  So that’s good for me cuz I’m a massive procrastinator!

 

Strangely enough… June 22, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is — jedimarri @ 8:21 pm
Tags: , , , ,

“Strangely enough, it all turns out well.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. It’s a mystery.”

These words are spoken near the beginning of the movie “Shakespeare in Love.” They are repeated in various forms through out the rest of the movie and each time they stuck out at me.  Why?  They sound a lot like my husband!

Every time I get stressed out about something – he’ll tell me it will turn out ok.  I find this incredibly annoying most of the time as I tend not be optimistic for myself.  I’m an optimistic for everyone else, but when it comes to my own life, I tend to be a rank pessimist.

I know, in my head, that pessimism is not a good thing.  I know I should trust in God, I know that I should let things happen and just make the best of them, but I have a very hard time doing that.  I think I’ve been knocked down to many times.  I’ve had my hopes dashed, my fears realized, and watched dreams evaporate.  Consequently, I assume things in my life will go wrong.

When I first started getting really sick at the beginning of the school year I’d get really down, and then Moses would tell me it was all going to work out.  Sometimes I would be ok with it, other times I just wanted to yell at him.  To tell him there was no way it was going to work out, and that I was just sick of it all.  Not sick of him of course, but sick of dealing with my health problems.

Over time I started to listen to him.  Which is a good thing.  I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last 6 months if Mo hadn’t helped me to find reasons to have hope and keep going.

I’m still trying to figure out how things are going to work out in my life and with my health, but I’ve had an interesting 6 months.

I’ve made a few friends…not a lot of them…but a few.  Jayna, Stephanie, and Asia have all been really supportive and, while we don’t get together that often due to busy school lives and my health getting in the way, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know them and the support they’ve given me is invaluable.  Jayna’s the one who I watched Shakespeare in Love with last night 🙂  More on that later…

I’ve also had a chance to work more on my jewelry creation as a result of being sick.  I’ve had to give up working, and I’ve had to try hard to make myself relax because otherwise I wouldn’t heal.  That was HARD.  However, sitting and making jewelry has helped me to force myself to relax, and it’s a lot of fun!  I haven’t made a lot of progress yet on selling my jewelry, but I’ve made some and what’s more important, I’ve really enjoyed tapping into my creative side more.

I’ve also had a lot more time with my husband as a result of being sick.  With his weird work and sleep schedule, if I was working we’d not see each other that much.  The first month or two of our marriage were hard because I was working, and our schedules didn’t work together that much.  I’ve treasured the chance to grow closer to him, and the troubles have really pulled us closer together.

I’ve also grown closer to some of the people from back home.  It’s been hard being away from home, especially while sick, but I’ve learned who my closest friends and had some incredible conversations via e-mail and the phone.  Conversations that lifted my spirit and helped me keep going on.  Convo’s that made me cry, but crying with a girl, even on the phone, was sometimes what I needed.

There have been draw backs to the last few months, but there have been good things too.  How is it all going to all work out?  I don’t know, it’s a mystery, but I’m starting to think it truly is working out 🙂

Back to last night and the movie.  I had a lot of fun!  Jayna is a fun girl and we have a lot in common…and lot is really different…but we are able to connect on a lot of levels!  We got together at her boyfriend, Brian’s, house because I just really wanted to get out of the house for something other than school or the doctors house…and he has a better tv set up than she does. 😛  Mo didn’t feel like coming along this time, but considering Brian has a Wii, I might be able to convince him next time!

Wii – I played Guitar Hero for the first time last night!  Jayna said I did pretty good for it being my first time!  Somehow she managed to con Brian into making us dinner (yummy spaghetti!) while we played.  We had fun 🙂

Then, we watched Shakespeare in Love while eating dinner.  The movie was good, it would have been better if they didn’t have all the nudity and sex, but it was really well written.  I recommend it with the qualification that you need to be prepared to look away or fast forward through some of it.  I did really appreciate how they wove Shakespearean lines through out all it and incorporated them into the regular dialogs.  There was some excellent acting in it as well.

I stayed and we chatted and eventually watched another movie – Sweeney Todd.  Either we started it later than I thought, or it was longer than I thought, because I didn’t get home until 1am!  Which meant I was still wide awake when Mo got home a half-hour later.  Through him for a loop.  Poor guy.

It was great having some girl time 🙂

 

A day in review… June 6, 2008

Filed under: Life as an Artist,Life As It Is — jedimarri @ 1:02 pm
Tags: , , ,

Yesterday went pretty fantastic!  I got a LOT done, which makes me very happy.  It was also the last day of Spring quarter!  Yippee!!!  Now I have…just over a week until Summer quarter.  Which is ok.  New challenges are fun.  Or maybe I’m just psycho…who knows?

I didn’t start my 3 hour thing yesterday because it was the last day of school, but I did work on all three areas!  I did laundry and cleaned my kitchen, started working on creating a blog for the business (running into some technical difficulties), and spent about 1/2 hr writing!  And…drum roll please…I have another commission to work on!  Very exciting!  It’s through another friend, so I don’t have my first “non-friend” sale yet, but any sale is super-duper exciting.  Very flattering and all that.

On top of all that busyness I also got to spend time watching tv and laughing with my husband.  Always a bonus for the day when we get to spend time together 🙂